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Blog:Mama Pineapple- What's in the bag? A look at Mama's stim kit.

Blog:Mama Pineapple- What's in the bag? A look at Mama's stim kit.

As time has gone on since my formal autism identification in 2016, and as I’ve gradually learned more about myself – my autistic self – I’ve got better and better at recognising what makes me tick.

What makes me anxious, overwhelmed, panicked, angry. What makes me calm, happy, blissed out, joyful.

I’m increasingly better at looking after myself. But this ability to look after myself is continually pushed to its limits, and beyond. It

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Blog:The Silent Wave- Remembering school life as a child unknown to be on the Asperger's / autism spectrum

Blog:The Silent Wave- Remembering school life as a child unknown to be on the Asperger's / autism spectrum

Two years ago, before the damage to my brain last year, I was a more prolific writer, fueled in no small part by the newness of the discovery that I was almost assuredly on the Asperger’s/autism spectrum, a theory that would be confirmed about 6 weeks later by a licensed professional.

When one is found to be on the Asperger’s/autism spectrum later in life, much water has rushed under the bridge.  The later the discovery,

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Blog:The Other Side- Sanctuary – finding a place of safety #autism.

Blog:The Other Side- Sanctuary – finding a place of safety #autism.

I love this blog space. It gives me room to stretch out and explore ideas I wouldn’t otherwise express. Ideas float about and I trust that at some point I’ll pull them down and knead them into shape on these pages.

I’ve written many blogs posts since I began The Other Side, and I’m immensely grateful to all of you who’ve kept me company along the way.

I want for a moment to consider

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Blog:Mama Pineapple- The more I know, the more I realise I don't know.

Blog:Mama Pineapple- The more I know, the more I realise I don't know.

There are many times in my life when I’ve pretended to be an expert in something – both to myself and to others; both knowingly and unwittingly.

As a child, I would often deny the existence of new pieces of knowledge outside my ken if they’d been brought to my attention too suddenly, too unexpectedly, or in hostile or otherwise unpleasant circumstances. I’d correct people, without being open to the possibility that they might

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Blog:The Other Side- A Delicate Dance #masking #actuallyautistic

Blog:The Other Side- A Delicate Dance #masking #actuallyautistic

Neither Use Nor Ornament research residency work by Naomi Morris. Photo by Hugh Pryor ©Hugh Pryor 2018

This post is a series of reflections on unmasking at work on my Arts Council England funded project, Neither Use Nor Ornament, which is a collaboration by The Museum for Object Research and WEBworks.

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Unmasking has become a hot topic for some autistics recently. In reality it is (and always has been) a daily negotiation.

What I

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Blog:The Aspie Teacher- Trauma Does Not Define You

Blog:The Aspie Teacher- Trauma Does Not Define You

In Greek, trauma means “wound”. Originally trauma referred to physical wounds, but nowadays trauma also refers to emotional wounds. The psychological reaction to emotional trauma also has a name.  It is more often referred to as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.  I am very familiar with PTSD.  I was diagnosed with it about 14 years ago. This original diagnosis arose from a horrible medical trauma that I endured and also from the behavior of those closest

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Blog:The Silent Wave- Wandering misty thoughts on friendship and doubt

Blog:The Silent Wave- Wandering misty thoughts on friendship and doubt

Do you see me?  I’m hard to spot, in too large a crowd, which is loosely defined as anything above about six people.  Scan too fast and you’ll miss me. 

 Here, I’ll help.   Go deep.  Almost…there.  Yep, the one trying not to be noticed.  The one in ordinary jeans, legs climbed too often by little furry balls with beautiful eyes and sharp claws.  The one in the long-sleeved shirt with the tiny melted chocolate

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Blog:The Silent Wave- Transformation, Asperger's / Autism…and me

Blog:The Silent Wave- Transformation, Asperger's / Autism…and me

It’s been said that people on the Asperger’s/autism spectrum have a tough time making changes.  To a point, I’m certainly “guilty” of that, if it’s something to be guilty about, which in itself is up for debate.  My take?  It is what it is, whatever it may be, for each of us.

During this recent, unexplained (and currently, unexplainable) Cocooning Period, I’ve been given the time to draw inward, to retreat without having to go

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Blog:Planet Autism- “Do people tell you you're a good listener?” Autistic Versions

Blog:Planet Autism- “Do people tell you you're a good listener?” Autistic Versions

 There is a question on an autism screening questionnaire, I can’t recall which one, but a quick Google tells me it’s not the AQ50 at least. It’s something along the lines of the title of this blog post and this post is triggered by a recent passing comment to me, about me being a good listener that reminded me of the question.  This is one of those “it’s not what it looks like on the

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Blog:Paginated Thoughts- Less socially interested people are still full human beings

Blog:Paginated Thoughts- Less socially interested people are still full human beings

The recent study “Being vs. Appearing Socially Uninterested: Challenging Assumptions about Social Motivation in Autism,” and the resulting New York Times article, got me thinking about the value we place on socializing. The article does a good job, I think, on telling non-autistic audiences that we are just as human as they are. That autistic people need to be met halfway just like anyone else. That our body language and communication and social interests displaying

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Blog:The Silent Wave- 'Stop caring about what other people think'

Blog:The Silent Wave- 'Stop caring about what other people think'

The title could certainly be construed as advice.  But it’s also a Note To Self.  And it’s one that’s easier recited than actually adhered to.

There’s this Eternal Inner Duel going on within my core.  One side wants to say “screw ’em; who cares what other people think?” and the other says, “but Because The World.  And you have to survive in it.”

Frustratingly, they’re both right, which is likely why neither side has “won”.

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Blog:The Silent Wave- (My) autism and restlessness

Blog:The Silent Wave- (My) autism and restlessness

There’s something peculiar about summer, besides the obvious concepts of higher temperatures and the longer daylight hours.  There’s an amped-up-ness, a summer zenith opposing the winter’s nadir, a yang running counter to yin.

And everybody “out there”, meaning outside of my apartment, is just a little more yin.  It happens every year; I wonder if they notice the pattern?

But patterns are my job.  I’m a Systemizer, after all.

I’ve often lived my life with

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Blog:Mama Pineapple- #TakeTheMaskOff: authentic vulnerability

Blog:Mama Pineapple- #TakeTheMaskOff: authentic vulnerability

One of the things I’ve always hated about myself is how easily I burst into tears, and how often I cry.

That’s not to say I’m ashamed of it. It’s my natural reaction to surprise, bad news, overwhelm, discomfort, confusion, and a whole range of other scenarios, situations and feelings. It’s just how I am.

The reason I hate it is not that it shames me, but because it draws others’ attention to me

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Blog:Pharaohs World!- The Medicine Merry Go Round

Blog:Pharaohs World!- The Medicine Merry Go Round

“I think you should stop taking it if it’s not working. Slowly decrease the dose and wean yourself off it”

” I’d like you to increase the dose, to the maximum, over the next few weeks”

The first is my psychiatrist

The second is my neurologist

Talking about the same drug.

Is it working ? . May be. Do I feel better ?. Not exactly but the pain is less sharp.

Has my headache gone

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- The Ecstacy and Pain

Blog:The Secret Aspie- The Ecstacy and Pain

“I will always be the virgin-prostitute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman.”― Anaïs Nin, Henry & June

I wrote the below excerpt not long after I met R, he has always been my preferred drug. Last night we messaged til midnight. It was only 10 pm in Shanghai but he had not eaten so I said enough. This morning I received good morning messages and it warms my heart that he

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- Take My Hand

Blog:The Secret Aspie- Take My Hand

Take my hand.. and hold on tight… for you’re in for a rough ride my dear… but never fear for I won’t let you go… I will chain you to me with your obedience, submission and adoration… believe in me for I will gladly roll your mind and soul.. with your body as my instrument I will play upon You….my delight .. music to your ears… my hands will touch you … bringing a

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- Make a Difference

Blog:The Secret Aspie- Make a Difference

Life is about having meaning. It is about feeling worthy as a person and being fulfilled by what you do. If you do not fulfil that part of you what is the point of being here?

Do you go through your everyday life just to earn money or does what you do excite you? Are you passionate about what you do?

It is that passion, that fire, that empathy that you have for others

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- Tell Me Your Name

Blog:The Secret Aspie- Tell Me Your Name

Tell me your name and I will write it on your skin in blood…Feed me your pain and I will love you if just for a little while…..Let me shackle your heart to my wrist and drag you to your knees…I will wrap you in my arms and hold you forever…My chains and words will bind you…Whips and floggers hurt you…But oh so delicious would it be…To tantalize and tease you with my lips…My

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