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Blog:The Silent Wave- 'Stop caring about what other people think'

Blog:The Silent Wave- 'Stop caring about what other people think'

The title could certainly be construed as advice.  But it’s also a Note To Self.  And it’s one that’s easier recited than actually adhered to.

There’s this Eternal Inner Duel going on within my core.  One side wants to say “screw ’em; who cares what other people think?” and the other says, “but Because The World.  And you have to survive in it.”

Frustratingly, they’re both right, which is likely why neither side has “won”.

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Blog:The Silent Wave- (My) autism and restlessness

Blog:The Silent Wave- (My) autism and restlessness

There’s something peculiar about summer, besides the obvious concepts of higher temperatures and the longer daylight hours.  There’s an amped-up-ness, a summer zenith opposing the winter’s nadir, a yang running counter to yin.

And everybody “out there”, meaning outside of my apartment, is just a little more yin.  It happens every year; I wonder if they notice the pattern?

But patterns are my job.  I’m a Systemizer, after all.

I’ve often lived my life with

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Blog:Mama Pineapple- #TakeTheMaskOff: authentic vulnerability

Blog:Mama Pineapple- #TakeTheMaskOff: authentic vulnerability

One of the things I’ve always hated about myself is how easily I burst into tears, and how often I cry.

That’s not to say I’m ashamed of it. It’s my natural reaction to surprise, bad news, overwhelm, discomfort, confusion, and a whole range of other scenarios, situations and feelings. It’s just how I am.

The reason I hate it is not that it shames me, but because it draws others’ attention to me

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Blog:Pharaohs World!- The Medicine Merry Go Round

Blog:Pharaohs World!- The Medicine Merry Go Round

“I think you should stop taking it if it’s not working. Slowly decrease the dose and wean yourself off it”

” I’d like you to increase the dose, to the maximum, over the next few weeks”

The first is my psychiatrist

The second is my neurologist

Talking about the same drug.

Is it working ? . May be. Do I feel better ?. Not exactly but the pain is less sharp.

Has my headache gone

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- The Ecstacy and Pain

Blog:The Secret Aspie- The Ecstacy and Pain

“I will always be the virgin-prostitute, the perverse angel, the two-faced sinister and saintly woman.”― Anaïs Nin, Henry & June

I wrote the below excerpt not long after I met R, he has always been my preferred drug. Last night we messaged til midnight. It was only 10 pm in Shanghai but he had not eaten so I said enough. This morning I received good morning messages and it warms my heart that he

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- Take My Hand

Blog:The Secret Aspie- Take My Hand

Take my hand.. and hold on tight… for you’re in for a rough ride my dear… but never fear for I won’t let you go… I will chain you to me with your obedience, submission and adoration… believe in me for I will gladly roll your mind and soul.. with your body as my instrument I will play upon You….my delight .. music to your ears… my hands will touch you … bringing a

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- Make a Difference

Blog:The Secret Aspie- Make a Difference

Life is about having meaning. It is about feeling worthy as a person and being fulfilled by what you do. If you do not fulfil that part of you what is the point of being here?

Do you go through your everyday life just to earn money or does what you do excite you? Are you passionate about what you do?

It is that passion, that fire, that empathy that you have for others

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- Tell Me Your Name

Blog:The Secret Aspie- Tell Me Your Name

Tell me your name and I will write it on your skin in blood…Feed me your pain and I will love you if just for a little while…..Let me shackle your heart to my wrist and drag you to your knees…I will wrap you in my arms and hold you forever…My chains and words will bind you…Whips and floggers hurt you…But oh so delicious would it be…To tantalize and tease you with my lips…My

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Blog:Paginated Thoughts- Julia has a home on Sesame Street, a world that's always tried to include everyone

Blog:Paginated Thoughts- Julia has a home on Sesame Street, a world that's always tried to include everyone

Guest Blog Post by Sara Liss

[partial view of Sara, who has dark hair in pigtails and is wearing a dark pink shirt, smiling. She sits with a Julia doll, holding onto the doll’s hand. The Julia doll has bright orange hair in pigtails and green eyes, looks happy, and is wearing a pink shirt.]

I wish that Julia the Muppet from Sesame Street had existed when I was a toddler and first learning (not

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- Quiet Week

Blog:The Secret Aspie- Quiet Week

Yep as the title says, very quiet, no play, no R, and concentrating on study. I had a major freak out last night after getting feedback on an essay draft. The only thing I’d done properly was the reference list. Pandora had to do some serious coaching to stop me from having a full fall out. As it was some tears were wept, but I dusted myself off and spent the rest of the night

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Blog:Pharaohs World!- I know, I know

Blog:Pharaohs World!- I know, I know

I know..

I meant to be more proactive. Then they increased my meds.

Result. Welcome to Fuzzyland, the land where everything is soft, but not in a nice way. Soft as in a sickly sweet, nauseatingly gooey way; a way which envelops you and makes the outside world indistinct and dream like.

You might think that actually sounds okay but when you are Autistic and thrive in being in control, it’s not.

I panic. I

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- Beliefs

Blog:The Secret Aspie- Beliefs

One thing that R and I have both been doing is breaking down who we are and rebuilding ourselves. In August it will have been a year since we met. I could have sworn it was longer but my experience of times is skewered because of D.I.D.

We both had trust issues about the other sex, myself from childhood sexual abuse and the way men in my life had treated me most of my life.

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Blog:Tania A. Marshall: M.Sc.- Do Autistic or Neurodiverse people attract abusive people? Yes

Blog:Tania A. Marshall: M.Sc.- Do Autistic or Neurodiverse people attract abusive people? Yes

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A recent FAQ and theme in the thousands of Neurodivergent people I have worked with is, “Do I have an S (sociopath), a P (psychopath), an N (narcissist) or an L (loser) on my forehead???” Yes, I have seen this time and time again.

Neurodivergent people are more susceptible to these types of toxic people then Neurotypical people. Having said that, neurotypical people find it challenging to associate and untangle themselves

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Blog:The Secret Aspie- Dinner and coffee

Blog:The Secret Aspie- Dinner and coffee

This week has seen me stepping out of my comfort zone and it is getting easier. I met a bull yesterday for drinks and we talked for about two hours, he had never done anything really kinky but wished to explore being a bull and doing submissive acts.

It’s interesting getting to know people who are first getting into d/s. Some people just see it as being more adventurous in the bedroom and it is

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Blog:The Silent Wave- Making friends with shadows [autistic poetry]

Blog:The Silent Wave- Making friends with shadows [autistic poetry]

Perhaps part of my cocooning that I had mentioned in my last post has to do with exploring darkness.  Maybe it has to do with utilizing some of the pent-up creative energy that my brain can’t seem to streamline into something more outwardly productive.  I have felt unfocused, perpetually drained.  Although this sounds bad, I’m not sure it is; there’s a time for everything, of course, and resting is no exception.  But I’m ready to

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Blog:Mama Pineapple- This machine needs a tune-up.

Blog:Mama Pineapple- This machine needs a tune-up.

A section from Charles Babbage’s Difference Engine No. 2

Right now, I’m struggling to overcome autistic inertia in order to write about my struggles with autistic inertia.

It hasn’t escaped the attention of some of my readers/followers/friends that I haven’t written or drawn anything for quite a while. Two whole months in fact. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to write things; I’ve had plenty of ideas for topics I’d love to write about. I’ve even

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