Unabashedautist.com

Blog:The Unabashed Autist- I can't believe that you saw her before me.

I realized I don’t code most of the time anymore.  I think this is a good thing because I laugh more.  It feels like I broke an addiction because I get random urges to start new projects all the time.  I thought I would have a harder time letting go.  It’s mind boggling how much time I’ve spent writing code on a computer in my lifetime.  It’s probably just under the time I’ve spent sleeping.

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Blog:The Unabashed Autist- This woman hates me so much I'm starting to like her.

I just realized I haven’t watched anything but Stevie Nicks documentaries and live concerts on DVD in a while.  Typically, I only allow myself to listen to music when I’m exercising because it’s the only way to get me to do it.  Lately, it’s all I do in my free time, but it hasn’t been long enough to mess up my exercise bribery scheme.  Whew.  (I don’t have a Plan B.)  I guess tomorrow will

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Blog:The Unabashed Autist- I was in the pool!

I accomplished my goal yesterday.  It wasn’t too bad.  I had to renew my driver’s license before mid-July, or I’d have to take the written test again.  The last time I had to renew, I didn’t notice it expired until a bank teller told me.  I was in the drive-thru, and I had a meltdown.  Even now, I’m struggling to put the words together, (like I blocked it out.)  I was literally driving with an

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Blog:The Unabashed Autist- Quick! Everybody under the desk!

CW: Aftermath of SA, related triggers.

Fuck.  I haven’t pinpointed for certain what I did wrong to cause this round of hell.  Deep down, I suspect I know, but the reason pisses me off.  I had a birthday last month, and I ate like someone who doesn’t have autism or PTSD.  I thought once a year was sufficient moderation.  I was wrong.  Hence, pissed.  Welp.  Maybe this means I’m going through The Change, (still only

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Blog:The Unabashed Autist- If they have individual personalities, I'm not sure we should be eating them.

I’m Alison Wonderland.  (It’s what my family often called me when I was growing up.)  I embrace it because I recognize it’s accuracy.  I do live in my own world.  It’s the only way I know how to be.  I connect with people who can accept me as I am.  Usually, it’s individuals who are steady enough within themselves to come a bit closer.  Close enough so I can hear their song.  My wonderland is a

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Blog:The Unabashed Autist- How big a look did you get?

I got all my chores done early this weekend. I canceled the Twilight marathon because I don’t have any shields when I watch movies, and it’s super emo.  I can’t go there right now, but perhaps soon.  I’m too hyper to sit still for long, anyway.  I watched Stevie Nicks Live in Chicago, for a bit instead.  It’s awesome.  (Nobody is screaming, fainting, or rushing the stage.)  It’s a pretty big crowd, but not rabid.

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Blog:The Unabashed Autist- It feels like aliens poking at my body.

CW:  suicide, PTSD symptoms (Skip it if you’re not positive you’re up for it. 💜)

Today has been rough.  I had the math isn’t real nightmare again last night.  It fucks me up every time.  It usually means my sleeping mind has penetrated my defense system, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better.  Yay. /sarcasm.  These are the times I wonder if testing medical cannabis for PTSD might be a good idea.

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Blog:The Unabashed Autist- It's fusilli Jerry.

The rest of my Stevie Nicks music and videos arrived yesterday.  I’m further along with the In Your Dreams documentary.  I had to pause again when Stevie Nicks went to visit military people at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and Bethesda Naval Hospital.  The footage was from 2005, so it was a few years after I was at Walter Reed.  As a disabled veteran, there aren’t words for how much we appreciate such visits.

I’m

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